Vinnie Jones has regaled talkSPORT with another of his brilliant stories, this time involving Dennis Wise, a stolen passport and an empty hotel room.
Vinnie spoke to Monday’s Alan Brazil Sports Breakfast and revealed the tale which was set on a golf trip taken to Spain while the famous hardman was playing for Chelsea.
Blues team-mate Wise had a fall-out with Stan Ternent, then assistant manager to the club’s boss Ian Porterfield, and that is where Vinnie’s story begins.
“We were out in Spain doing some training and Stan Ternent and Wisey had a real bad fall-out,” he says “It nearly came to blows and Stan told him to clear off. So he’s cleared off and we’ve carried on training and finished.
“But we’ve all got to have a dinner that night.
“So we’ve gone to have dinner with management and all the lads there…and Stan and Wisey are still going at it.
“Wisey tips the table up and storms out the restaurant. So Stan comes over and says ‘you better go sort your mate out or he can get a flight home’.
“I’ve gone back and Wisey’s in the bar at the hotel and I’ve told him he’s got to calm down. He said ‘nah, he’s out of order’.
“So I replied ‘let’s go and do his room then and get our own back’.
“So we go up to reception and say ‘it’s Mr Ternent … I’ve lost my key. Give me a key for the room’.
“So he’s given me a key and he’s also given me Stan’s passport, because we gave them in all. So Wisey’s eyes have lit up, and I can’t let him have it because he just wants to rip it up.
“So we’ve gone up to Stan’s room and gone in, and every mortal thing in the room we’ve put on the balcony – anything that was not screwed down.
“We’ve done the telly, the bed, all his clothes, the sideboards… every mortal thing has gone on the balcony. Then we closed the curtains.
“We got back down the bar and are having a drink when Stan comes in with the boys and Gwyn Williams. He’s feeling a bit cocky because he’s had a couple of drinks, and he says he’s going to the casino.
“He asks for his passport and the bloke goes to the back and comes out and gives Gwyn his, but says ‘Mr Ternent there’s no passport’. Stan has gone absolutely nuts!.
“This has gone on for about 20 minutes and me and Wisey are sitting there giggling – and Wisey’s obviously sitting on the passport.
“Stan’s called security and they’ve come, and management have come – the whole lot. The manager has said he’ll look in his room, and our eyes have lit up.
“Two days before we had been warned we’d be thrown out the hotel as well… this was like the final straw.
“So as they’re going to go up in the lift Stan said to the security ‘those two are coming as well’. So they’ve hauled us up and we go in knowing what’s going to happen.
“They’ve opened the door and there’s nothing in there whatsoever, and they’ve gone absolutely mental!
“They said ‘you’re out of the hotel!’, but Stan said he’d sort it out. He asked where all the gear was and we opened the balcony and the manager has gone absolutely nuts – he wants to kick us out.
“Stan said ‘we’ll get the passport back as one of them has got it’, so we gave the passport back, but he went ‘I want you two to put all my gear back’.
“And while he’s done that Stan’s ordered three beers, and he’s got a cigarette going on the balcony drinking his three beers while me and Wisey are putting all his stuff back in the room.
“We stayed in the hotel for two more nights!’